In Presence

To work on self is to work with my reactions.

Our life presents us with the challenges we need to confront in order to gain freedom from our reactions. We are responsible for these reactions. The responsibility for them cannot be displaced.

Nor are we responsible for the reactions of others to us. If we take responsibility for our own reactions, we will end up treating others with grace and precision.

How to begin this work?

Do not blame others for your reactions.

Be aware of the physical gestures, postures and sensations of your reactions in real time. After the fact is far less useful.

Do not analyze your reactions. Simply observe them. You can recognize them without thinking about them.

Your observing needs to become impartial. This specifically means to observe without derivative or secondary reverberations…judgments or justifications, shame, guilt or other forms of self-expression or self-importance. Laughter is allowed.

When observing becomes impartial, refrain from expressing your reactions. Hold the energy of them. Neither express nor repress.

To be without reactions is to be without an important source of energy. Do not wish for this too soon. If you arrive at this state, known among Sufis as Kemal, much is possible but very little is wished for.