For the purposes of this conversation I am going to use the term ‘negative thoughts’. I define these as thoughts that cause a flutter in the solar plexus and a sensation of weakness or vulnerability. Typically, these are thoughts that are critical of self or others, thoughts that reflect anxiety about situations or requirements that you think you or others are facing. The fluttering sensation expresses your instability. You do not sense stability of self. Your energy fluctuates and flickers.
Can I shift this state? I find that I can. I voluntarily sense the immediate sensations of my body. This lasts for only a moment. I do it again. Another moment. And again. If I continue to do this, I reach a point of sustainable attention requiring less effort. We could call this the ‘second wind’ of attention. I now sense myself as a continuity. The flutter is gone.
Let’s be clear. Sensing the sensations of my body is not the same as thinking about sensing my body.
The energetic effects of attention accumulate. In work terms, my ‘I’ has moved from the status of an identity based on sensitive and automatic energy—which are inherently unstable–to a sense of existing as a conscious being. I remember myself as the voyager separate from my fears and insufficiencies.
Voluntary attention on sensation is the key. But so is blind perseverance. It is not enough to try something once and declare it does not work. Can you make a simple effort without immediately evaluating the hell out of it?
