• Suppressing

    October 10, 2016

    I still do not understand what you mean about neither expressing nor suppressing. What’s the alternative?

    This seems to be the single most difficult part of work on self to understand and the problem probably started with G’s famous dictum about not expressing what he called negative emotions.

    Let’s go step by step. You observe in real time that anger is arising in you. The observation begins with noting the sensations of anger and then perhaps moves on to labeling it, or perhaps not. It doesn’t matter at this point. The observing remains objective…that is, you do not judge/criticize yourself for the anger nor do you justify it by blaming circumstances or other people. It is simply an experience of anger. You decide not to express it. There is no psychological dimension, no identification, no body-based habitual compulsion to express. The anger is energy, that’s all. Unlike in suppressing, this energy does not need to go anywhere else; it does not drive other unconscious reactions and thought loops such as self-pity, self-loathing, hatred or the desire for violence.

    This is a very elegant maneuver, in my opinion requiring years of observing self to accomplish. And even then, do not assume it is always within your capacity to accomplish it.

    Do you undertake this maneuver for the sake of the work?

    This is an interesting question. Do you need a reason? It is possible for any reason to become a subtle form of suppression. If you want to restrain expression in order to excel at the work, you may be adopting a standard of performance that requires you to suppress. The same could be said for withholding expression for the benefit of other people.

    Then why aim for non-expression?

    Observation of self takes you there, intending it or not. Expression of so-called negative emotion is objectively a waste of energy which is observably injurious to the machine and an insult to your being. After much objective observing, it becomes an unnecessary extravagance.

    What happens to the energy of the negative emotion?

    Remember that the term negative emotion is not a judgment about tone or content but simply a reference to the fact that it results in an energetic discharge. That’s what emotions do. By not discharging, the energy becomes available for use.  It may help you to wake up. It may attract your presence which easily becomes absent when negative emotions are active along with their identifications.

    The question that arises is this: can you take everything as data?

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  • Expressing

    October 3, 2016

    You have said that it should be ok to express emotions in the work group. I’m not sure I feel safe enough to do that.

    I have said that it should be possible to express emotions in a work group because the participants have agreed to work together. They have agreed to take ownership of their own reactions. I have not said that work group members should express their emotions in the group. Do you see the difference? Many of you try to make instructions into rules.

    The point is to make it more possible to observe self in the work group. In ordinary society, we are likely to suppress emotions in order to be socially appropriate and this makes observation of self more difficult. If you have a tendency to repress a lot, you may benefit from expressing in the work group. But if you are able to observe self while going through an emotional reaction, you probably gain nothing from expression and there is no need for it.

    If I begin to express my emotions, I may lose control altogether.

    Exploding is not an option. This is not a primal scream group. If you are in this group it is because I think you have been house-trained. If you prove otherwise, you must leave.

    I think we are experiencing a vocabulary problem here. Expressing does not mean cutting loose and letting it all hang out. Perhaps we should use the word ‘articulating’ instead. Let’s say I am getting very frustrated with our conversation. I could say so. I do not say ‘you are frustrating me’ because then I am no longer owning my reaction, I am blaming you. If there is a rule in this work it is that you do not blame others for your state. That would be practical work on others, not on oneself.

    So you might say ‘I am frustrated by this conversation’. The potential benefit is that you have made a statement that allows you to separate somewhat from the state and see it more clearly, more objectively, without denying it, without pretending not to be frustrated and repressing the symptoms of frustration. Perhaps at that point you can laugh at yourself for having such a reaction. You may also get a sense of how your state looks to someone else. Impartial observation of self includes the sense of being seen and that is the aim.

    On the other hand, if you are able to hold and observe your frustration, neither expressing nor repressing it, you may be able to ingest the energy and move on with no one else being aware of your work. Great. But if not, it should be possible to articulate your state to members of the work group, for your benefit.

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